Anonymous asked:

I have been an online Dom for 3 years and had great experiences. Then I tried to go IRL. I met a bunch of subs and tried a few but nothing worked. All the women I met looking for a Dom were either married, fat, on pills for depression or bipolar, had been abused or sexually assualted and could do things. Why are the real women of kink so damaged and how can I find someone like you who isn't?

slavekate answered:

As I said a few days ago, I answer questions politely not always because they deserve a polite answer but because my Master expects me to be polite no matter the circumstance. That is the discipline and challenge of consensual slavery. So, thank you for your question because it gives me a chance to be obedient and polite, even when i don’t want to be.

Many women are hurt because the world is hurtful. That is the way of it. If you want to meet women who haven’t been hurt, assaulted, or wounded then you should work to make the world a place where women are not hurt, assaulted or wounded.  Or, recognize that women who have been harmed are also women who have been healed - and are strong because of their wounds. 

The “women of kink” whom you met are not damaged. They are real women. Real women come with real joys and real problems. They are human beings. Human beings come in all shapes, sizes, and needs. Any human being who has lived to be over 21 probably has some kind of scar - inside or out.  The only unmarked people are those who never dared to live.

So, I can’t tell you where to find perfect unscathed women in the real world. Because, there aren’t any. We all have wounds, including me. My best suggestion for you would be to go back to the online world where everything is perfect and submission is typed out in neat little rows, or look at the fact you only seem to see the negative things in women and ask, “Why am I so damaged?”